Well, I guess I can say it’s been a while since I last posted on here. I have started a new school, and I have gained some new and amazing friends. Some parts of my life are less than perfect and I have struggled in the beginning of this year, but i do feel like I have improved as a person from when I began this blog. I feel as though I have matured and I know there is still a lot for me to continue to improve on. I will try my best to update here and maybe start up a series of stories.
Usually I don’t post so soon after a recent post and nothing much has changed, but I feel the need to share that my passion for writing is beginning to pop up more and more. I don’t even care if anyone sees this, it just feels so good to type it. To have it out there. maybe I’ll be a journalist…
I can’t wait to leave my school behind. My class *Shocker* is filled with assholes who don’t know how to not touch me. This one kid likes to play around and knock me into some boys.. *HAHA SO FUNNY* , anyways i yell at him and give him a punch. tell me why he moves my bag across the entire fucking hall behind a student and i cant fucking find it?? Not to mention when this kid we (will call him 8),walks by he calls me 8’s girlfriend. so 8 is this kid who kinda has a really bad crush on me. only i don’t see him like that i only see him as a friend. i didn’t know how to say this to 8 for the fear that it would hurt our friendship. 8 asks me to the dance and out of impluse i say yes. i lost my ticket and got into trouble and thought that i was not going to be able to make it. well i was able to because i found an extra one. long story short i didn’t have time to warn him that i was going to be there. my friends kept dragging me on to the dance floor that night and i didnt see him that often, and i was kinda trying to avoid him. he apparently was trying to dance with me all night, he ended up crying and going home early…. This is why it was very awkward for him to call me 8’s girlfriend. i think 8 probably wanted to cry at that moment, either that or he was extremely happy. i didn’t see his face thank god….
“I want to be okay…Trust me I do but, I’m not”- a quote i literally though of right now.
I wonder if I look as worthless as I feel. I am serious about switching classes.I cant be in a place where 30 people all hate me. I cant deal with the feeling that I’m alone in that class. I will miss some of my teachers, but if i stay I don’t think ill make it through the year. So i’ll tell my favorite teacher about this and i’ll say good bye to the others. Im going to my sisters class. maybe it will be better there.
I have had multiple people in my class confirm my suspicion that my class hates me. one of them even said that if they were in my position that they would kill themselves. the amount of pain that these people cause me just makes me want to go. go anywhere than here. but i have my family to think about. if it weren’t for them i think i would actually do it.
On another note, i think a guy that used to like me still does…
Off to do some painful homework
To be totally honest i thought blogging would be completely different. but pretty soon im going to delete alot of my posts off here. to me this was a getaway. but it feels like no one notices. which like me, is absolutsely true. im not the type of person who causes heads to turn. im the one with the plain looks…
she is gone. i am never enough for anyone. because im not special enough. not even good enough. i wasnt good enough for him. or the girl who was supossed to be my best friend who stole him from me. she left me. but he betrayed me. why does everyone leave???
at least i have some friends. but right now i just want to cry.
via Daily Prompt: Obvious
its obvious i never mattered. obvious you never cared. obvious im tired. tired of everything. obvious you never loved me and i should be alone.
Go look at my other site in which i created by an accident. go check out my recent post. if i get up to 100 likes/ follows on this site.. I’ll prank my strict mother and post a video.
i know it won’t happen so thats why the number is so high., since no one really reads any of the shit i write on here.